Suck on my gold, former 8th grade bullies!

(feel free to listen to this song of victory as you read this post)

Dear Dave Wiskerik:

That’s right!

You heard me.

I am awesome.

Back in the 8th grade, I was mocked like a three legged child in a one legged world, for loving star wars and owning all the origional action figures.

Wazzup my bitches!!!

Wazzup my bitches!!!

Biology books were thrown at me, dodge balls were used as really big rubber bullets, and I think people would put white out on my gym locker. I think it was white out….

But listen up dick heads! The tables have turned, whore! For I am rich in gold! Behold my lamp of inner nerdness. Warning, you might cry for each spit ball you threw at me.

huuuuuhggghhh puggghhhhh

huuuuuhggghhh puggghhhhh

This guy is priced at $6,000. Guess what I am gonna buy with that $6,000?

How about this?

Mikula time!!!

Mikula time!!!

Thats right, I am buying a harem of women for me. Whats that, Dave Wiskerik, your wife had unplanned pregnancy? Oh that sucks. Too bad I am being choked to death by awesomeness.

Or what about this little guy?

UTINI!

UTINI!

$2,000.00 for this hunk of meat. Look,  at what I am gonna buy!

I am an educated man....

I am an educated man....

Thats right, Dave Wiskerik.  Thats some mother fucken Epcot you are looking at! What’s that? Your daughter from the unplanned pregnancy has been doing kilos of Columbian pure while I am watching fire works on top of the greatest of golf balls? Send your complains to the spaceship Earth ride. They might take a look at it before they travel to Egypt to see man do his first writing thing.

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3 Comments

  1. July 9, 2009 at 5:38 pm | Permalink

    Wow Nick. Can I come visit Epcot for free after you buy it?

  2. July 10, 2009 at 10:08 am | Permalink

    yeah we can go on the 3-d ride where rats run past you!

  3. July 15, 2009 at 12:33 pm | Permalink

    You are living the dream, buddy. Dave Wiskerik is probably sad and alone while you sit on a mountain of golden Star Wars toys.