By 
Yesterday I finished Stieg Larsson’s book, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. While I enjoyed the book, it was about halfway through that I realized something very peculiar about the main characters: they eat a lot of goddamn sandwiches.
omnomnomnomnom
I thought at first that it was just a few isolated incidents, that I was imagining things. I used my Nook’s search function, which can find any instances of a word or phrase in the entire book, to find out exactly how many sandwiches were eaten. Note: The maximum number of sandwiches eaten by a person in one sitting is three, so in any case where the exact number is left ambiguous and just mentions “sandwiches”, I take it to mean either two or three.
p. 15
Half a minute after he had ordered a caffe latte and a sandwich, the lunchtime news came on the radio.
Sandwiches: 1
p. 110
He was for the time being the only customer, and Susanne offered him coffee when he ordered sandwiches and a loaf of bread.
Sandwiches: 2 or 3
p.114
He put on a pot of coffee and made himself two sandwiches.
Sandwiches: 2
p.134
Susanne brought him coffee and sandwiches, casting an inquisitive glance at his computer.
Sandwiches: 2 or 3
p.167
He did not bother with cooking and ate only sandwiches.
Sandwiches: 2 or 3
p.173
She left Bjurman’s office and went home, took a shower, ate two sandwiches with cheese and pickles, and then sat on the worn-out sofa in the living room to think.
Sandwiches: 2
p.205
She made three big open rye-bread sandwiches with cheese, caviar, and a hard-boiled egg.
Sandwiches: 3
p.217
Blomkvist made coffee and sandwiches.
Sandwiches: 2 or 3
p.229
At 2:00 on Tuesday morning Blomkvist had coffee and sandwiches at the kitchen bench.
Sandwiches: 2 or 3
p. 259
Blomkvist made for the Stadshotel terrace, which was actually open and there he was able to order coffee and a sandwich and read the evening papers.
Sandwiches: 1
p.260
He boiled some potatoes and had open sandwiches of pickled herring in mustard sauce with chives and egg on a rickety table outside the cottage, facing the bridge.
Sandwiches: 2 or 3
p.298
Then he made himself lunch, which consisted of coffee and open sandwiches, and sat in the garden, where he was typing up the notes of his conversation with Pastor Falk.
Sandwiches: 2 or 3
p. 315
He put everything back in the box and had a sandwich lunch as he thought things over.
Sandwiches: 1
p.321
Salander went to get some coffee and a plastic-wrapped sandwich from the vending machine in the corridor outside the archives.
Sandwiches: 1
p.337
Then she put on water for coffee and made half a dozen thick sandwiches on rye bread with cheese and liver sausage and dill pickles.
Sandwiches: 6
p.416
She put on some coffee and fixed herself a liver pate and cucumber sandwich.
Sandwiches: 1
———————————————————————————–
Total sandwich count (range): 32-39
Since we can’t be sure whether multiple-sandwich meals consisted of two or three sandwiches, let’s assume for the purpose of statistics that in these cases we can report an average of 2.5 sandwiches. In which case:
TOTAL SANDWICH COUNT (MATHEMATICALLY PERFECT): 35.5
LOGICAL CONCLUSION: SWEDES EAT A TON OF SANDWICHES
Well, I’m sure reading this was a good use of everyone’s time.
