By Mikula+ in
Articles at March 11, 2010 – 4:20 pm
Melt in Hell you Hag!
Dear Chicago Winter:
I must inform you that after 47 work quality counseling sessions with company management and 67 written warning letters about your poor work quality, there has not been an acceptable improvement evident in your work. As we discussed on December 1st, 2009, you had to improve your work quality by December 2nd, 2009 to justify continued employment with this organization. The Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit company has tried to work with you in every way possible to develop your work skills and to meet our quality production needs. However it has become evident that your work quality is not up to the standards required of our employees in the position you were hired to perform.
This leaves me with no choice but to tell you that your employment is terminated effective immediately. Please return all company property to my foot up your ass, including your employee access badge.
Sincerely,
Nick Mikula
HR manager of Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit
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By Big Scott in
Articles at March 11, 2010 – 10:52 am
That title is a little misleading. I didn’t have a conversation with a crazy man. A crazy man had a conversation with himself, and I happened to be sitting next to him.
Picture yourself at 7:30 this morning. You’re tired, you’re cranky, you don’t want to go to work. You step on the bus and the only seat available is the one next to a man wearing a very fancy all white suit, and a grungy, dirty baseball cap.
Now imagine the man starts talking to no one. At first you think he might be on a bluetooth headset talking to someone, but as you pause your iPod you realize he’s speaking absolute nonsense. I would have given anything to have an audio recorder handy, but alas I did not. Here’s what I can remember. The order may be inaccurate but is that really important? (Note: Punctuation is intentionally left out as everything the man was saying was one run on sentence.)
You tell them don’t forget to tell them they gotta set their clocks back Saturday night or they ain’t gettin’ in and they ain’t gettin no Papa John’s you tell them you ain’t goin to court neither I don’t care about his shoes my coffee got burnt on yo ass HAHAHAHHAA don’t you never forget that neither I was tellin them I rode the purple line for fun it wasn’t no fun it was full of garbage and pancake batter man i told you no bacon on them eggs NO EGGS NO EGGS NO EGGS!
Oh Western bus, how I love thee. It’s rare I don’t have an adventure when riding that route.
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By Tinz in
Articles at March 10, 2010 – 6:37 pm
HORSE!
What a sad excuse for a zebra.
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