I, your humble servant/anti-hero, have decided to award certain people in history as D-Bags of the week. I’m calling it the “Harry Ellis D-Bag of the week” because Harry Ellis (from Die Hard) is the ultimate D-Bag. No one comes even close to his stupidity, arrogance, and ugly ass beard as he does. No one!
If you look up Coke-headed-son-of-a-bitch in the dictionary, you will see this picture.
For this week, I have awarded the Harry Ellis D-Bag trophy to this asshole I met on the Purple Line today, “Ash.”
D BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why?
he smells
he smiles
he smiles while he smells
he lied to me about my mission to my audition in Evanston, I had no idea face huggers would be present
he told me my chances of survival were slim, while he was smelly and smiling
the door were closed on the train, but he opened them up and let a homeless man with a face hugger on board, thus contaminating my train
he tried to shove a rolled up magazine down my throat
he’s a robot…which I can only assume means he is a cylon
he took Yaphet Kotto’s seat on the train, while smiling.
Keith, Tinz, Marc, and myself are HUGE fans of the fantastic documentary King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. It chronicles a real-life hero, Steve Wiebe, trying to be recognized as the true Donkey Kong Champion. Unlike most people, Steve has an evil arch-nemesis (Billy Mitchell) who will stop at nothing to keep Steve down.
Donkey Kong is highly renowned for its difficulty and is arguably the hardest video game ever. Most people barely get past the 3rd level on a consistent basis. If you haven’t seen the film, do yourself a favor and see it.
Today at the E3 gaming convention, Steve is trying to beat Billy’s most recent (video-taped) record at Donkey Kong in front of the largest audience ever for such an attempt. Billy was invited to play Steve in a head-to-head match, but Billy (as usual) has taken the cowards way out and dodged Steve again. We at Octavarius are throwing our full support behind Steve Wiebe. Go Steve Wiebe, Go!
Mullens is a great place with fair priced drinks, so come check it out. We’ve been rehearsing some new moves and games to integrate into the show, so it’s going to be a blast.
My iPod died today just seconds after I got on the train. This was the result: Brown Line 8:01am Stuck standing on train Sweaty palms toughed this before I hope that’s not pee IIf you ever feel inspired to write CTA Poetry (this can be poetry about the CTA or poetry written on the CTA about other things) please send [...]
This Cylon Dating Quiz informed me that there’s a 46% chance I am dating a cylon. When I first found the link, I thought it was funny. But as the minutes passed since I took the quiz, I’ve become more and more paranoid. What about last weekend, when she asked to “see my big defense mainframe.” [...]
The other day I attended an improv show with a friend of mine who is not an improviser himself. After the groups performed they called everyone back on stage to play a quick game of Freeze. In Freeze, two people start a scene and go until someone offstage calls freeze. The offstage person tags out one [...]
I know parents with kids, my grandparents, and some ladies I know as well would LOVE this site. RunPee.com lets you know exactly when it’s ok to run to the bathroom so you won’t miss anything significant in the film you’re watching. They organize the films by release date, running time, alphabetical order, and a classics [...]
I wish this flash presentation was around when I was a kid. I remember reading A Brief Hisory of Time as an elementary schooler. At that time, I was going to be an astronaut, and I was amazed at how much we didn’t know. Sadly, I have never been to space, but I am still amazed at [...]
