Octavarius Posts by Mikula+

Regarding your services on the day after St. Patrick’s day

This is both the freakiest image I have ever searched on google, as well as how I felt this morning.

Dear Daylight Savings:

I must inform you that after 47 work quality counseling sessions with company management and 67 written warning letters about your poor work quality, there has not been an acceptable improvement evident in your work. As we discussed on March 13th, 2010, you had to improve your work quality by March 13th, 2010 to justify continued employment with this organization. The Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit company has tried to work with you in every way possible to develop your work skills and to meet our quality production needs, with out spring ahead. Spring ahead to what? However it has become evident that your work quality is not up to the standards required of our employees in the position you were hired to perform.

This leaves me with no choice but to tell you that your employment is terminated effective immediately. Please return all company property to your little imagination land where people apparently dont need an extra hour of sleep after St. Patrick’s day,  including your employee access badge (the one that says “Hell! I’m an asshole!”).

Sincerely,

Nick Mikula

HR manager of Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit

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Regarding your services in Chicago

Melt in Hell you Hag!

Dear Chicago Winter:

I must inform you that after 47 work quality counseling sessions with company management and 67 written warning letters about your poor work quality, there has not been an acceptable improvement evident in your work. As we discussed on December 1st, 2009, you had to improve your work quality by December 2nd, 2009 to justify continued employment with this organization. The Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit company has tried to work with you in every way possible to develop your work skills and to meet our quality production needs. However it has become evident that your work quality is not up to the standards required of our employees in the position you were hired to perform.

This leaves me with no choice but to tell you that your employment is terminated effective immediately. Please return all company property to my foot up your ass,  including your employee access badge.

Sincerely,

Nick Mikula

HR manager of Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit

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Hmm…I could sure eat some…Bwo??

Title of post might be somewhat sexy.

Whenever I am bored, I imagine what my friends would look like in ridiculous animal/food costumes. Today’s selection is Bwo as a carrot.

Enjoy!

Admit it...you are smiling now.

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New James Bond Villian

So,   Sam Mendes will be directing the next Bond film. AWESOME!! But who will play the villian? We, the audience, need a classic  villian bent on world domination.
I present to you, Mr. Mendes, your next Bond villian!
RUSSIAN TINZ

Okay, Mendes, he is an ex KGB agent, that disguises himself as a cook for Her Majesty’s Secret [...]

Why royalty should date me, instead of Anakin Skywalker

Ladies, its me, M-I-K-U-L-A +! I was watching Attack of the Clones the other day, and SMACK it hit me, this burning question, why is Queen Amidala dating Anakin Skywalker!?
Queen, I present to you, the top reasons why you should date me, instead of Anakin Skywalker.
1.) He’s Mean. I am incredibly nice, caring, and soft!
2.) [...]

FML for James Bond Villians

Dr. No: I take pride in my metallic claw hands. Today I fell into a pool of radioactive liquid and cant climb the ladder to get out. I am melting and screaming. FML
Rose Klebb: I love having a poison boot. It’s so much fun. Today I got shot in the lung. FML
Goldfinger: I take great [...]

Nick Mikula’s advice for 12/30/09

Never.
Under any circumstances.
Sing Enrique Iglesias’s “Escape” to a random girl at a bar.
Never.

I hate Nova Scotia

I am not gonna lie to you, peeps…but I hate Nova Scotia.  I was thinking about fish on my morning commute and it occured to me that I HATE THIS PLACE!!!
I mean look at this island! Its  about the size of my index finger! I mean, how could something the size of my index finger [...]

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Dear Titanic: I am sorry

It has come to my attention that I have made one too many Titanic jokes in my time on this Earth. Karma slapped my balls last night when the pipe beneath my kitchen sink burst leaking freezing cold water into my room. That plus the fact that my drain in my shower does not drain [...]

RUI (Rosebud under the influence)

I hope that my  career will be like this…

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