Well payed google humor. Well played.

Arthur: How do you translate a business strategy into an emotion?

Cobb: Thats what we are hear to figure out. Robert’s relationship with his father is stressed to say the least…

Eames: Can we run with that? Can we suggest to him that breaking up his father’s company is a screw you to an old man?

Cobb: No, because positive emotion trumps negative emotion. We all yearn for reconciliation, a catharsis. We need  Robert Fisher to have a positive response to all of this.

Eames: okay, we try this, my father accepts that I do not want to follow in his footsteps.

Cobb: That might work

Arthur:  Might? We have to do a lot better than might.

Eames:  Thank you for contribution

Arthur: …Specificity.

????

Sure,  some of you read The New York Times, and some of you read The Red Eye….

But you know what I read to get my day started?  SPAM! Every morning I walk into work, turn on my computer and before I look I am doing some productive, I read the most amazing stories ever told.

This is a sample of the work I have read. And they say print is dead.

lets fuck in the name of Detente!

Hello my the surprised Friend!
I understand, that you are surprised now, when this letter has arrived to you. BUT I ASK YOU TO SPEND 5 MINUTES, your time and have read it up to the end then probably it will change your and my life. At first I wish to tell a little about myself. My name is Mariya. To me of 37 years. I live in a city under name Kirov, it is a small city in northern part of Russia. I not married and never was. I also do not have children. I have left school then has finished institute on a trade of “economist”. If it is interesting to you I will necessarily tell about it, but now not in it the purpose dear friend.Recently, I watched TV and saw, that in Russia there are 35000000 women who live without men, and there are such agencies of marriage which have many electronic addresses, and such agency can help to find for women the suitable man. I have gone to one of such agencies, and have addressed to them with inquiry that they have found for me the good man. They have informed at once me, that in Russia I should search for the good and decent man very long time. Then they have offered me acquaintance to the man from other country, on what I have looked from a positive side. As I know, that at us in the country of the man, do not appreciate women, is possible because women several times more.In general, I have agreed to strike up acquaintance to the man from other country, and they have given me your electronic address. Having told that you the lonely fair and decent man who searches for the woman for creation of relations. Then I took your electronic address and have gone to the cafe Internet to write you the letter. Here now you can my letter see. I have written you it with hope, that you will answer to me. I have inserted one my photo that you could see, my appearance and to solve for you directly completely, you will like to begin dialogue and relations with me or not. Only I ask, concern my letter seriously, look my photo, the letter, think and solve, precisely you would like to have the correspondence with me? I do not wish to be the friend, it is not necessary, I am ready to serious relations. It is very necessary to love, give my love to the MAN and family creation. If you really wish to have serious relations with me write to me. If you do not want to have a relationship with me, just do not respond to my letter, I can understand everything myself. And nevertheless, I wish to tell to you, that my photo is made not professionally, but you see me, such what I in a life. And you can precisely define such woman as I am necessary for you or not. Very big inquiry as wanted if you however interested in me write to me about your e-mail where we can speak with you and small good photos you.Like everything, that I wished to tell you, and now I only need to wait from you for the answer, and I hope you write to me. If I was not pleasant to you, or serious relations are not necessary for you then do not write me anything, I will understand!
I hope your new friend, I hope that I can become for you friend Mariya!
You can send your letter and photo to this email address:  mashyl9love@HotPOP.com
The lonely woman from Russia Mariya.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?

People should know when they are conquered

I am in so much pain….there is blood everywhere…I have a sword in my scrotum.

This is SPARTA!

Iefnkl neend  I need someosme blarrrghhhhhhhhh! i need some one to help mehhh….good lord….

I am Kratos from the God of War video game series

there is a finger lying on the rockband drums…I fear it might be mine…

yup….its mine….

Oh...the humanity

Guys…I wont be at rehearsal.

Hi YAH! KI YAE! OI!

Now, check it out! I am currently 3 feet away from LP (in our new apartment-or should I say DOJO!) and he just accidently mentioned he owns swords.

and nunchucks!

I will be right back!!!!!

This is both the freakiest image I have ever searched on google, as well as how I felt this morning.

Dear Daylight Savings:

I must inform you that after 47 work quality counseling sessions with company management and 67 written warning letters about your poor work quality, there has not been an acceptable improvement evident in your work. As we discussed on March 13th, 2010, you had to improve your work quality by March 13th, 2010 to justify continued employment with this organization. The Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit company has tried to work with you in every way possible to develop your work skills and to meet our quality production needs, with out spring ahead. Spring ahead to what? However it has become evident that your work quality is not up to the standards required of our employees in the position you were hired to perform.

This leaves me with no choice but to tell you that your employment is terminated effective immediately. Please return all company property to your little imagination land where people apparently dont need an extra hour of sleep after St. Patrick’s day,  including your employee access badge (the one that says “Hell! I’m an asshole!”).

Sincerely,

Nick Mikula

HR manager of Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit

Melt in Hell you Hag!

Dear Chicago Winter:

I must inform you that after 47 work quality counseling sessions with company management and 67 written warning letters about your poor work quality, there has not been an acceptable improvement evident in your work. As we discussed on December 1st, 2009, you had to improve your work quality by December 2nd, 2009 to justify continued employment with this organization. The Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit company has tried to work with you in every way possible to develop your work skills and to meet our quality production needs. However it has become evident that your work quality is not up to the standards required of our employees in the position you were hired to perform.

This leaves me with no choice but to tell you that your employment is terminated effective immediately. Please return all company property to my foot up your ass,  including your employee access badge.

Sincerely,

Nick Mikula

HR manager of Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit

Whenever I am bored, I imagine what my friends would look like in ridiculous animal/food costumes. Today’s selection is Bwo as a carrot.

Enjoy!

Admit it...you are smiling now.

I present to you, Mr. Mendes, your next Bond villian!

RUSSIAN TINZ

DA!

Okay, Mendes, he is an ex KGB agent, that disguises himself as a cook for Her Majesty’s Secret Service.

DA DA!

Surpise! He informs 007 of his secret plan to poison all of Britian’s food supply!

DA DA SCIENCE!

Here, Russian Tinz tortures James Bond with history of first Czar.

DA DA EVIL!!

In the climax of the film, Russian Tinz, leader of the Communist Cult, is foiled by 007 by eating poisoned hot pockets.

Sam Mendes, I thank you for your time.

Queen, I present to you, the top reasons why you should date me, instead of Anakin Skywalker.

1.) He’s Mean. I am incredibly nice, caring, and soft!

No cuddling for this guy, just the thrust of death!

A great idea!!!

2.) He’s in horrible shape. I am sculpted like Michelangelo’s David.

BLARGH!

You can view me in Rome!

3. He chops his son’s hand off.  I love cats!

If he could do this to someone he loves, what could he do to someone who does not make good mac n' cheese?

El gato de amor!

Thanks you Queen, you may reach me in Chicago.