Another hum drum day at the office

Another hum drum day at the office

If you are attractive, like money, and hate real work then this Craig’s list job is for you. I’ve always wished Casual Friday meant throwing some khakis over my string bikini. Plus you can write off sunscreen as a business expense on your taxes. This is straight from their job posting.

Beach Girls, Great Part Time Job (Chicago, North Ave Be & Oak Street Beach)

Fun Job promoting businesses at Chicago’s North Avenue Beach and Oak Street Beach. Fun Chicago events at the beach including: Chicago’s Air and Water Show, Professional Volleyball Tournament, etc. $20.00 per hour.

Please send photo and resume.

Is there a similar job for men? I’m jealous.  I want to make a fake resume and apply for this job.  Does anyone have ideas for relevant work experience?  Here are my current qualifications:

Cock Tease – Chicago, IL Last breakup – Present

  • Became “great friends” with 12 different men
  • Invested is suggestive clothing
  • Gave fake number to even the nicest guys met at the bar

Football Team Captain’s Girlfriend – Palatine, IL September 2006 – January 2007

  • Dealt with self-obsessed man
  • Handled extreme popularity with care
  • Defied school dress code to promote spaghetti strap wearing

Giant Boob Haver – Palatine, Il and Chicago, IL June 2003 – Present

  • Found myriad activities that involved bending forward for almost no reason
  • Cut necklines of shirts to emphasize cleavage