Today I tried very hard to be funny. Big mistake. My girlfriend was planning to stop by this morning at 9:30 to drop off her laptop so it wouldn’t be sitting in her car all day. Since I didn’t have work, I agreed to wake up and stash the loot. She was very grateful, and apologetic for having to wake me up.
Cut to this morning. My eyes pop open around 8:45 and I can’t fall back asleep for the life of me. Then I realize, I can do something cute and funny that would make me awesome as a boyfriend. (Note: this idea was genius to me at 8:45am). My brilliant scheme was to dress up in a full suit and tie and wait for Robin to call. When she did, I’d pretend to be just waking up and then stumble down the stairs. When I opened the door–ta da–she’d be surprised and say something like:
ROBIN: (Pleasantly surprised) Wow, you’re all dressed up.
MARC: (Clark Gabelly) I heard you were coming.
ROBIN: That is hilarious. I thought you’d be in your boxers or something. You are the funniest person ever. Thank you for taking the time and energy to wake up early, and dress up in a silly way just to put a smile on my face before I went to work.
MARC: Anytime, Babe.
This is, however, not what happened.
Instead, she called in advance to politely warn me that she was near. Then she had tons of trouble finding parking. This took about twenty minutes, totally destroying the surprise of me appearing in a suit straight out of bed. Then she had to hike from her parking spot to my house. And by the time I opened the door, our exchange went something like:
ROBIN: Here’s the–um, why are you wearing a suit?
MARC: Oh, uh, cause I thought it’d be funny…
ROBIN: Oh. Yeah. It is. It’s really funny. Hey, they’re doing construction near your street, so it’s really hard to find parking.
MARC: Okay, cool. I’ll take these upstairs.
ROBIN: Thanks. (Meaning it) It was funny.
At 8:45 this morning there was no way that could fail. Oh well. Someone said something about “the best laid plans of mice and men” that probably applies here, but I don’t remember it.