The following complaint was created using Scott Pakin’s automatic complaint-letter generator, which is very amusing.

Parts of what follows below were actually painful to write. However, because of the ongoing misinformation campaigns launched by Sen. Brian A Wohl and his patsies I feel it is my duty to write this. Before examining the present situation, however, it is important that I acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment.

Beer-guzzling dips are more susceptible to Sen. Wohl’s brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that if we contradict Sen. Wohl, we are labelled baleful rabble-rousers. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. If we let him sow the seeds of pessimism we’ll be reaping the crop for quite a long time. Sen. Wohl’s personal interest in seeing his communications shoved down people’s throats is shambolic but that’s to be expected of him. I am on an important mission to ask Sen. Wohl to rephrase his criticisms in a more reasoned way. If I don’t accomplish that mission, Sen. Wohl’s plans to engulf the world in a dense miasma of hedonism could well succeed.

I’ve tried to explain to Sen. Wohl’s termagant flunkies that we must do right and fear no one. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn’t get them to comprehend that Sen. Wohl is capable of only two things, namely whining and underhanded tricks. I’m not very conversant with his background. To be quite frank, I don’t care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that Sen. Wohl accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is Sen. Wohl. Only a die-hard liar like Sen. Wohl could claim that his blessing is the equivalent of a papal imprimatur. The truth, in case you haven’t already figured it out, is that he who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. Of course, people like Sen. Wohl who do in fact perpetrate evil eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. In short, I feel we must explain a few facets of this confusing world around us. I hope other members of the community feel the same.

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