Glenn Beck: Professional Shitty Asshole
Andy Kaufman pretending to be a professional shitty asshole
Nobody can dispute what Andy Kaufman did for comedy. Shunning the term “comedian,” Kaufman referred to himself as “a song and dance man.” From wrestling women to creating the miserable alter ego Tony Clifton, Kaufman always put on a fantastic show. Often playing despicable and wholly unlikeable characters, Kaufman always stayed a step ahead of his audience. While crowds booed as Andy wrestled and insulted women, they cheered when Jerry Lawler challenged Kaufman. Lawler broke Andy’s neck, and a heated feud between good and evil ensued.
Little did the audience know, Lawler and Kaufman had the whole thing planned and were laughing behind the scenes the whole time.
Fast forward to today. Glenn Beck, a conspiracy-crazed, marshmallow-faced fatass is one of the most prevalent voices of today’s political pundits.
Glenn Beck explaining Obama's "oligarh" and why we should fear it.
A pudgy college dropout with no particular political leanings (Beck claims to be a libertarian but really, who the Hell knows?) Beck get five hours a week to plot out incoherent nonsensical bullshit about Barack Obama on a chalkboard. In Beck’s world, Obama is a liberal/Marxist/Fascist/Communist/Maoist who is going to impose martial law on political dissidents. Aside from his infamous “oligarh” segment pictured above (he was trying to spell oligarchy) he has also called Obama a racist, spoken openly of his hatred for the families of the 9/11 victims, and recently at CPAC he decried taxes while simultaneously talking about the usefulness of public libraries.
Oh, and he’s been known to resort to water works.
Life's hard when you're a fucking nutcase
When Andy Kaufman died of lung cancer in 1984, many of his fans cried foul. While his family and loved ones attended his funeral and spent time with Kaufman during his final days, close friends including Bob Zmuda have said that Andy had talked about faking his death while he was alive. When Andy was put to rest, the world couldn’t help but wonder if this was simply his biggest and most elaborate prank ever.
So what if this is it? What if Glenn Beck is just a creation of one of comedy’s greatest geniuses? A completely insane character obsessed with conspiracies and Communism. A race-baiting, uneducated quasi-anarchist clown who uses fear appeals while simultaneously invoking the word of God. His voice is loud and echoed throughout tv and radio waves, yet no sensible political leader of any party can truly embrace him. He’s not a politician. He’s some crazy fatass who has a tv show where he can say anything he wants without having to offer any proof.
Andy Kaufman was the master of playing characters people loved to hate. Maybe when Beck runs for president someday, he’ll wash off his makeup and reveal himself to be a prank. I’d like to believe a voice that paranoid and ridiculous could only be the work of a true comic genius.
After all, we’ve never seen the two together.
