It’s always a good time to take your sweetheart out to a movie, and today I have EXCELLENT NEWS for you two. There has NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA been a better time for you to spend a night watching the silver screen. Before I tell you about the AMAZING OPPORTUNITIES for you at the movies, I trust that you’ve been avoiding the following STINKERS that have come out so far this year:
- Inception: Dreams? BORING. I do that every night!!!!!!
- Toy Story 3: I’m fine with the idea of living, breathing toys. What I’m NOT fine with is that one of those toys is a God-hating DINOSAUR -- and as we all know, the only reason that dinosaur BONES exist is that the Devil buried them in the ground to trick us and shake our faith. RIGHT!??!?
- Shutter Island: I saw it the first time…when it was called Inception! LOLOLLLOL
- Iron Man 2: If it’s SOOOOO great, then how come I haven’t seen it???
If you’re “lookin’ to get lucky” at the movies, you and I both know the one ingredient that, no matter WHAT the other contents, is SURE TO MAKE A DELICIOUS MOVIE:
CGI RECYCLED CARTOONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE SURE ARE EXCITED!!
Of course you’ve already seen this year’s BIGGEST CGI recycled cartoon movie, right?? Watch the trailer again and feel those warm memories come flooding back! Arf arf!! (For extra fun, drink a vial of poison every time you hear the word “Marmaduke”! HAHAA)
GOOD NEWS, CITIZENS OF MOVIETOPIA! You don’t have to wait until the next Marmaduke remake to get another heaping helping of tasty CGI recycled cartoons. This one doesn’t come out for a little while still, but I KNOW I’LL BE FIRST IN LINE FOR TICKETS! I dare you to challenge me.
MEEEOWTH! THAT'S GREAT!
Have you DIED yet from the excitement! Well if you have, then THIS ONE is SURE to kill you! Kill you with movies, that is!!! ROFLFOROFLFOROFL!
Until next time, REMEMBER: never throw a cartoon in the garbage; ALWAYS recycle it.
SEE YOU ALL AT THE MOVIES!!
