Cookie Monster is an asshole.
In particular, he’s an enormous asshole to Prairie Dawn, who for some reason frequently invited him over to her house (or at least to her letter-pedestal.) Observe exhibit A, in which Cookie Monster feigns complete ignorance of the finer differences between a cookie and the letter “E”:
No, Cookie Monster. It doesn’t look like a cookie. It doesn’t look delicious. It looks like a letter. Even after receiving a thorough idiot-proof explanation, he proceeds to devour the (likely unappetizing) letter as if a) he didn’t listen to a word of it, and b) he owns the goddamn letter. At the end of the video, Prairie Dawn even openly hates herself for the whole ordeal; of course at this point Cookie Monster is nowhere to be found. He’s probably running off to seek out his next victim. Next observe Exhibit B, in which our tragic couple has returned to a similar situation after presumably having made amends:
First of all, notice that we are shown a brand-new letter-pedestal, meaning Prairie dawn must have an elaborate Hall of Letters that she probably saved for her entire life. Why she would choose to test this reformed criminal’s resolve in an identical situation is a mystery to me. I certainly wouldn’t bring a convicted child molester to a Discovery Zone the day after his sentence is up. Because that would be stupid. So I can’t feel entirely sorry for PD; really, she should have kicked Cookie Monster out of the Hall of Letters as soon as he once again claimed to not understand fundamental differences between letters and food. Yet she tries to do the noble thing and educates the ASSHOLE OF A MONSTER, to no avail. Instead what she gets is Cookie Monster’s half-assed attempt to show a gain in understanding by spouting out “kowabunga” (a word which, in a highly scientific study, was proven not to start with “K”). Predictably, the douchebag of a blue demon eats another of Prairie Dawn’s prized possessions, then proceeds to make light of his crime. Just look at the self-pity in Prairie Dawn’s eyes. She does not deserve this.
In Exhibit C, I assume Cookie Monster has already eaten his way through the majority of the alphabet and the Hall of Letters is a mere shadow of its former self. In a terribly sadistic recreation of My Fair Lady, Prairie Dawn is at wit’s end in her quest to make a gentleman out of a fuckwad. The only way she should ever trust this guy in her house again would be if she had personally seen him undergo the Ludovico technique (look it up, nerds!). Surely, as soon as Cookie Monster sees the letter “T” he’ll feel violently ill and either leave the Hall of Letters or vomit all over the room. Right?
Goddammit.
Cookie Monster is an asshole.
