By Tinz in
Articles at June 14, 2009 – 12:48 pm
This is a response to Marc’s post, Virginia is for lovers…of lameness. You can read it iif you’d like to, but I wouldn’t want you to get too depressed over how lousy a time Marc is having in Canada.
What was that, Marc? Could you please speak up a little louder for me? It’s not that I can’t hear your Canadadian complaints because it’s so far away (though the flocks of millions upon millions of boring geese do dampen the sound a bit.) I think I heard you say something about a meat lover’s scramble (can’t I order that at the Denny’s in Schaumburg?), but it all got drowned out. Literally. Next time you might want to enunciate your Great Northern Grievences a bit more, because I’ve had the misfortune of being holed up in a beach house fifty feet from the Atlantic Ocean.
The gentle pulse of the waves must have been what kept me from your stories of fishless lakes and shattered dreams. I apologize.

See that blip, off in the distance? Yep. It's Europe.
I know that you also tried to put all of your thoughts down in words, but I must have been distracted by the fiddler crabs, sandpipers, and the flock of several dozen enormous seabirds that flew directly overhead just an hour ago.

If life were Pokemon Snap, Professor Oak would give me extra points for a) catching several of them in a group, and b) getting them while they were posing.
Tonight I’m going to go out to the beach and look for more crabs, so if you really want to get my attention, blow into one of those hollowed out moose antlers you all use for horns.
Oh, and Brian? That book you were holding was poisoned.
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By BWo in
Articles at June 13, 2009 – 1:46 pm

Taste my ass, Muszynski.
This post is a response to My Vacation will be so much better than Marc’s and Viringia is for lovers… of lameness.
You guys may be having a wonderful time taking days off work and spending time with your family or girlfriend in a place that is not your own, but I’m having a great time here, in the great city of Chicago!
Last night I saw Marry Poppins with Amy. Today I farted on all of your pillows! Yup, all of ‘em.
Today, Amy and I are probably going to go see a movie, drink a bunch and hang out with our friends here in the beautiful city of Chicago!
Also, while you assholes are gone, TBS’s Just For Laughs: Chicago festival will be here! Many top standup acts will be in town for the whole week! I’ve already got tickets to see Robert Smigel with Mikula and Amy. What a great city. I think I might enjoy some Chicago Cubs baseball, some Chicago hot dogs, a deep dish pizza, and I’ll buy an alderman! I’m looking at you, Scott Waguespak.

Oh, I got you too Tinz. Nice books.
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By Mashooganuh in
Articles at June 13, 2009 – 9:55 am

I am writing to correct a terrible factual error Tinz made in his last post entitles My Vacation will be so much better than Marc’s.
DISCLAIMER: The photo provided is a dramatic reinactment of my meal, because my kodak disposable camera can’t be developed until I return from this Canadian paradise.
Because there are so many reasons why Canada is better than Virginia, I will have to focus on one at a time. Today’s reason, the food.
Over the past two days I have eaten like a king, a Canadian king no less. I devoured one Meatlovers Scramble, the most delicious NY strip steak I’ve ever eaten, homemade waffles, and a four course roast beef dinner. Al of these dishes were prepared and served by Frolander’s Island Lodge’s caretaken, SHeri, who sounds suspiciously like the mom from Bobby’s World.
As I mentally prepare myself for today’s breakfast of sausage links, omlettes, wheat toast, and bacon (Canadian bacon), I will feel very sorry for Tinz, who is currently suffering a Virginia vacation. My sympathies to you sir.
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