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Crying: Why Do We Do It? Did Cavemen Do It?

The big question of the day:  Did cavemen cry?

Short answer:  Yes (with questionable proof)

According to this artifact, not only did cavemen cry, they would do it in front of a boss (a modern day faux pas).

Long answer:  Inconclusive

Ok, so I’ve been doing a lot of research, and I can’t seem to find a single source that says cavemen ever cried.    Human beings can cry, so is it logical to assume that we’ve always cried?  Why would we be created with tear ducts if they were never to be used?

I guess that raises another question:  why would a caveman benefit from crying?  I guess it’s also fair to ask, how do we benefit by crying?

BENEFIT 1:  CRYING COMMUNICATES TO PEOPLE THAT YOU OR SAD, FRUSTRATED, OR HURT

Crying can convey emotion very well.  If someone is crying, it’s usually a pretty safe bet that something is wrong.  That’s why babies cry all the time.  They’re hungry, scared, cranky, outraged or some other extreme emotion and they can’t use words to express that.  Crying is about all they can do.

What's wrong, Dawson?

Just tell us what's wrong, Dawson. Clearly you're upset.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and bet all my money that at the very least, cave babies cried pretty often.  Diapers and Yo Gabba Gabba weren’t invented yet and eating scum found on the underside of a rock isn’t nearly as nourishing as a jar of mashed peas.

BENEFIT 2 – CRYING OFTEN ALLEVIATES STRESS AND PROVIDES A FEELING OF RELIEF

Studies show that people who are in touch with their emotions tend to feel a great deal of relief after intense crying.  Intense emotions will explode into a hysterical crying fit, but once the crying ends the person will be much more relaxed than before.

I’m guessing if cavemen ever became overwhelmed by life, crying probably could have done them some good.  And heavens knows those folks had problems.  They had to club animals to death for food.  Nobody had an idea what was poisonous or dangerous out in the wilderness.  Toilets didn’t exist.  Oh yeah, and they had to deal with saber tooth tigers.

Imagine if this was alive and every day you had to stress about whether or not it was gonna kill you. I'd rather worry about the recession thank you very much!

So cavemen had to struggle to survive and raise a child.  They had to club animals and other cavemen and eat them raw.  They had few ways to shelter themselves from nature.  And giant beasts with teeth over 1 foot long were always out looking to make them lunch.  After realizing this, would it have helped cavemen to just let it all out and sob uncontrollably?

I’m gonna say no.  After all, you have to keep quiet when a jungle cat is on the hunt for you.  I’m guessing cavemen had to suck it up, and keep doing whatever they could to survive without the waterworks.

Kinda sad, huh?

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The podcasts are here! The podcasts are here!

Good news! On Monday nights lately we’ve been sitting around my microphone and recording some podcasts for you.

Better news! They’re available for you now*!

Every week we reach into our mailbag and get a topic of conversation from a random listener. We then begin a whirlwind of entertainment!** This week, we tackle the issue of people-corporations. You can download our first podcast below for free; check back soon for more!

You can get our podcast from the iTunes Store Octavarius - Octavarius - Octavarius

*The first podcast had a few audio bugs to work out, including some unwanted hiss. These have been fixed by our second podcast. Lo siento, amigos.

**Not an actual whirlwind. Whirlwinds are dangerous and not conducive to recording audio.

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Underground improv show

In January we performed underground at the Underground Lounge.  The suggestion was Polaroid.

Poloroid (1/13/2010) from Octavarius Improv on Vimeo.

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Why royalty should date me, instead of Anakin Skywalker

Ladies, its me, M-I-K-U-L-A +! I was watching Attack of the Clones the other day, and SMACK it hit me, this burning question, why is Queen Amidala dating Anakin Skywalker!?
Queen, I present to you, the top reasons why you should date me, instead of Anakin Skywalker.
1.) He’s Mean. I am incredibly nice, caring, and soft!
2.) [...]

Rube Goldberg take 5b and Finale!

A while ago, without any explanation, I posted a pretty blank post about our silly attempt at a Rube Goldberg device. After some time (an hour or two) I forgot all about the other silly, more adventurous attempts. I posted takes 2 and 3 and takes 4 and 5a a few days ago, so check [...]

Newsroom worker caught looking at naughty photos while the camera is rolling

This poor guy was slacking off at work in a big way. Watch this one full screen if you can.
He starts around the 1:00 mark, and at about 1:30 he realizes the jig is up.

Fun With REAL NEWS pt3

As you’ve seen in Fun With REAL NEWS and Fun With REAL NEWS pt 2 I like to imagine real headlines happening to fictional characters instead of real people. And then I do my best to share that vision with you. Yes, it’s that deep.

I edited this screen-cap from New York Times.com’s main page at [...]

Fun With REAL NEWS pt2!

As you’ve seen in Fun With REAL NEWS, I like to imagine real headlines happening to fictional characters instead of real people. And then I do my best to share that vision with you. Yes, it’s that deep.

I edited this screen-cap from HuffingtonPost.com’s World News page at 6:29pm CST on 2/2/10

Rube Goldberg take 4 and 5a

A while ago, without any explanation, I posted a pretty blank post about our silly attempt at a Rube Goldberg device. After some time (an hour or two) I forgot all about the other silly, more adventurous attempts. I posted takes 2 and 3 a few days ago, so check those out too. Here is [...]

My Perfect Man

Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen

equals my perfect man.
I’m waiting

If you find him, contact me.

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