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Thank you for making last night magic!

Dear Everyone in Attendance at Last Night’s Show,

Last night rocked.

I’m not really sure how to explain all the little wonderful moments that made it magical, but somewhere between chicken nuggets with Billy Murray carved into them, and last call at the ComedySportz bar, we were floored by just how lucky we are to get to do shows for you guys.

It’s such an honor every time.

Thank you for coming. Thank you for hanging out. Thank you for making waking up this Friday an incredibly painful experience.

We’ll have show video up soon.

Hugsies,
Octavarius

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Ten Haiku Written By Trees

I wrote these all yesterday afternoon. If you didn’t think it was possible to write ten different tree haiku, then I guess I just proved you wrong. Eat those words. Om nom nom.

Anyway, enjoy.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

Tree.

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Regarding your services in Chicago

Melt in Hell you Hag!

Dear Chicago Winter:

I must inform you that after 47 work quality counseling sessions with company management and 67 written warning letters about your poor work quality, there has not been an acceptable improvement evident in your work. As we discussed on December 1st, 2009, you had to improve your work quality by December 2nd, 2009 to justify continued employment with this organization. The Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit company has tried to work with you in every way possible to develop your work skills and to meet our quality production needs. However it has become evident that your work quality is not up to the standards required of our employees in the position you were hired to perform.

This leaves me with no choice but to tell you that your employment is terminated effective immediately. Please return all company property to my foot up your ass,  including your employee access badge.

Sincerely,

Nick Mikula

HR manager of Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit

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Conversations With a Crazy Man

That title is a little misleading.  I didn’t have a conversation with a crazy man.  A crazy man had a conversation with himself, and I happened to be sitting next to him.
Picture yourself at 7:30 this morning.  You’re tired, you’re cranky, you don’t want to go to work.  You step on the bus and the [...]

BattleProv’s Torture Round

This top secret footage is so top secret that they actually asked us to stop filming right in the middle. What we did capture though, shows the “Torture Round” of the BattleProv show.
If you missed the last BattleProv show we did at ComedySportz, never fear. We’ve got one tonight. And this time it’s personal. Come [...]

Horse

HORSE!

What a sad excuse for a zebra.

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Broke in Chicago?

…of course you are. Who isn’t? We at Octavarius are all pretty cheap and try and find the most frugal ways to have fun, but boy these times are bonerrific tough. Even our Mayor Daley has to work through his birthday.

Fear not citizens, for there’s hope for us all! Our friends over at BrokeHipster.com have [...]

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Rush Limbaugh to Leave America, Disappointing the Fat Supervillains of the World

So Rush Limbaugh has declared that if Congress passes health care reform, he’s leaving America and moving to Costa Rica.  Apparently if Americans are given access to healthcare, he has lost the war.
Now, when I first heard this news, I did what most Americans probably did; the Snoopy Dance.  America’s loudest, angriest, and most hateful [...]

Top secret footage from our last BattleProv show

Since Octavarius will be back at ComedySportz this Thursday at 10 for another round of BattleProv, we thought it only fitting that we release some top secret footage from our last show there.
BattleProv works differently than other improv shows. The two competing teams go head to head in different rounds. This video covers the first [...]

Dear Meryl Streep, Quit Acting in Movies and Join Our Group

Dear Meryl Streep,
Quit acting in movies and join our group. You are an incredibly talented and versatile performer. I believe that with your talent, you could easily be a fantastic improv comedian. Octavarius is doing our best to make shows that are fun, entertaining, and challenging artistically. We feel that you would be a fantastic [...]

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