Last weekend, while testing the bar in our new apartment, I asked my roommates, “Hey, do you guys think it’d taste good if I made a pizza drink?”
They all said, “No!” They said, “No” so emphatically that I decided to waste my last slice of Gino’s East deep dish pizza on this stupid, stupid experiment in mixology.
Can you spot the pepperoni?
Ingredients
- 1 slice fancy deep dish pizza
- 3 oz cheap vodka hat tastes like clown spittle
- No shame
Recipe
- Remove crust from pizza slice
- Heat pizza until moist if not already
- Place pizza in food processor for one minute, or until finely ground
- Pour pizza grains into blender
- Pour vodka into blender
- Begin slow blend, increasing blending speed every few seconds
- Pause for reflection while blending continues
- Stop blending when pizza and vodka are fully mixed
- Drink
- Regret this decision
The Aftermath
I made the unfortunate mistake of not heating the pizza before processing and blending, so the two ingredients never truly combined. This left the finished Pizza-tini with small grains of pizza floating in a puke colored vodka sauce.
I made it about half way through this drink before admitting defeat. Only one of my roommates, Tinz, was brave enough to try the Pizza-tini, and for that I salute him.
If anyone knows of a better way to make this drink, please let me know.
5 Comments
Pizza flavored martini. This sounds much much worse than when I tried eating Cheerios with beer instead of milk, a la Revenge of the Nerds.
You’re gross.
That drink was an absolute nightmare.
If I were making a pizza-tini, I would use bacon-infused vodka shaken with tomato juice or v-8, with a pearl onion, olive, and pepperoni spear, and a parmesan rim on the glass. And even if I made it, I would never, never drink it.
Bacon, how intriguing.
marc,
remember that time we tried to make peanut butter in high school.
yeah, that didnt work either.