He's already judging you with that VISOR.

I know what you’re thinking.

Brian, are you CRAZY?! Geordi La Forge has been the CHIEF ENGINEER on a FLAGSHIP of Star Fleet! He knows how to use a transporter, a phaser (kind of), he knows how to harness the power of Dilithium Crystals and thus give you the ability to travel at WARP SPEED! BRIAN!!!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

Weirdo.

Actually, I’m thinking almost as clearly as Geordi’s crazy thermo-visor allows him to see! With that visor he can see every bit of electro-thermal activity we create! So that fart you just let out while reading this, Geordi would see it through the wall and be able to analyze the chemical compounds of your fart and then surmise that you’re not really on that diet you say you’re on. Yeah, now you’re not so damn cocky. Also the visor allows him to view the world in Infared so he’s probably paranoid as hell of our creepy thermal bodies walking around and doing normal people stuff. The visor also allows him to detect lies. So when you brush off him and his weird friend, he KNOWS!

Also, that Infared thermal vision can aid Geordi in finding out who’s got a boner and who doesn’t. He can tell if ladies are turned on. You might think having a friend like that is advantageous. I SAY NO!!! He has to deal with the consequences of CONSTANTLY knowing who does and doesn’t have a boner. Imagine going through life like that. It would make you a little odd, right? I know. I know. I’m sorry I even gave you an option.

Boners EVERYWHERE!

And don’t forget his AMAZING technical abilities! He’d constantly be trying to “fix” your apartment because that’s what he thinks ‘being a good neighbor’ is all about. Before you know it, your microwave will accidentally beam your Hungry Man meal directly into your pants.

NO THANKS DUDE! This will totally break the line in my pants!

I’m glad we agree. Live somewhere else, Geordi!

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