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My buddy Tommy and I often scour the depths of the internet, looking for what the worst people have to say about the issues of the day. Today, that took us on a tour of white power websites. After vandalizing the wikipedia page of the founder of the American Nazi Party (which Wikipedia immediately changed. C’mon Wikipedia, can’t you make an exception to your standard of excellence for the sake of George Lincoln Rockwell-related comedy?), we moved on to peruse some of the grittier hate-sites, and boy oh boy, there are three things white power activists love:
1. Bein FUCKIN WHITE!!!!!11!!1!
2. Attacking every other race for being stupid, and misspelling said attacks.
3. Lookin’ good.
And there’s even a section on varying websites to help you look good! That’s right, you can dress fashionably, at a reasonable price, while still letting people know that you’re white, and PROUD OF IT!
Thank God for those hoodies! Without them, I'd have no idea this guy was a supporter of white power!
And I know what you’re thinkin’ to yourself: But Mike, these assorted hoodies, baseball tees, polos, and tank-tops are in adult sizes. What about my child who, like me, supports the cause of white power? DON’T YOU WORRY, ARYAN-BROTHER, THEY GOT YOUR PALE-ASS COVERED!
"Oooh he's so cute! Who's going to join a wittle separatist militia?! You are! You are!"
Here’s another of a boy wearing a “Thor’s Hammer” shirt. Thor’s Hammer, according to the Anti-Defamation League’s website, “is displayed by many white supremacists in the form of jewelry, tattoos, and clothing, because they believe that Thor’s Hammer signifies the strength and purity of the “Aryan race.””
Now THAT'S the grin of someone demanding to see Obama's birth certificate.
Yep, it’s near impossible to describe the feeling in my heart and the swelling of tears in my eyes when I see a child, clearly fully capable of understanding the complex issue of race and it’s historical implications, choosing of their own free will to wear clothing emblazoned with white power and Nazi symbols.
"88" is used as code so that Neo-Nazis may identify each other. Once this plucky little girl knows what numbers are, that'll be useful!
Lookin good, kids! And for all you ladies out there who don’t have kids, you can order yourself this pair of panties, and I’m sure some proud white man will be happy to help you bring another pure child into this world.
I guess the website using this couldn't get a real woman to model it, so they MS-painted it, but don't worry, it IS in fact for sale.
Now if you’ll all excuse me, I need to go delete my computer history and take forty showers.
