By 
Everyone knows that animals are stupid. No debate. But some animals are SOO stupid that their whole species gets destroyed. These are those animals and if you can’t immediately tell why, I’ll explain:
Wooly Rhinoceros, Coelodonta
We all are familiar with wooly mammoths. Huge hairy elephants that walked the earth and were voiced by Ray Ramano. Those were cool. But apparently Coelodonta were those, but rhinos. I know, what a fucking poser. The Wooly Rhinoceros lived in the tundra of Europe and Asia as recently as 10,000 years ago. It ate grasses and other plants, was 11 feet long, weighed 2400 lbs, and was hunted by humans. And for good reason. If they are anything like current rhinoceri(that’s the plural of Rhinoceros, I assume) , then they were lazy as shit and would never get a job. Just because they have a furry coat doesn’t mean we won’t hunt the shit out of them. No furry horn dick monster would scare my ancestors.
Long Jawed Mastodon
No, not the black ranger’s Zord. This retarded elephant was totally real and was totally made fun of til it decided to extinct itself because it had no
"i can haz extinction?"
friends. The Long Jawed Mastodons stood about 4 1/2 ft high, had four tusks and lived in the Oligocene epoch (from about 33.7 to 23.8 million years ago), part of the Tertiary Period in the Cenozoic Era. The last Long-jawed Mastodons lived in North America and became extinct near the end of the Pleistocene (1.8 million to 11,000 years ago) If it came out of any female it would be smothered at birth, because creatures this repugnant aren’t meant for this world. I’m sure it was great at defending itself from predators being 4.5 feet tall and having a mouth that’s only purpose, i can discern, is sucking dick.
“I’ma eat you, long jawed mastodon!”
“Don’t! I’m so pathetic! I’ll suck your dick, I swear!”
“…….”
“I’ll do it!”
“”Man, what a fag….”
Rhynchosaur
If you can’t tell why this freak couldn’t get a date, let me break it down for you. Compounded by the fact that this creature wants so bad to tell you about his magic the gathering collection, Rhynchosaur is what happens when a lizard and a beaver date rape each other.
Rhynchosaurs were herbivores, and at times abundant, with stocky bodies and a powerful beak. Their lower jaw was deep, and when the mouth was closed it clamped firmly into the upper jaw. This scissors-like action would have enabled rhynchosaurs to cut up tough plant material, and defend itself in Shawshank prison.
Also, Rhynchosaurs is rumored to have liked it in the butt and smelled like shit all the time even after showering. Its almost impossible to see why this down syndrome baby of a species couldn’t last through the Triasic period. Truly astounding.
Moeritherium
This Baby Huey looking shit bag is a relative of the bad ass Hippopotamus. Its extinction is attributed to the fact that even other Moeritherium wouldn’t fuck them, not even with other animals’ dicks. And though it looks very intimidating as it attempts to find its inhaler, it is one of the gayest creatures to ever pervert God’s green soil.
Moeritheriumlived in North Africa about 50 million years ago in the Miocene. They stood little more than two feet tall and likely ate water plants and Cheetos in ponds. Also they could never read. I mean fucking NEVER! Moeritherium was, in its time, never picked for kickball. It often would spend its days watching most games, in a vain attempt to get picked to play out of pity. In addition, its tub o’ shit physique prevented it from seeing its dick and subsequently getting a date to the springtime cotillion. Two feet tall? Are you kidding me? It looks like Sloth from The Goonies but not as handsome. Its no wonder this cock stain of a creature standed little chance against such bad ass animals like the saber-tooth tiger
Helicoprion
Fucking gross! Whats wrong with that shark? Why is it broken? Was it in ‘Nam? Oh wait, its just God making a joke. I get it. Sharks don’t look like 
that….HILARIOUS! Helicoprion(“Spiral Saw”) was a long-lived genus of shark-like cartilaginous fish that first arose in the oceans of the late Carboniferous 280 million years ago, and eventually went extinct during the early Triassic some 225 million years ago. Comparisons with other eugenodontids suggest that Helicoprion may have grown up to 10-15 ft long.
Don’t get me wrong, Helicoprion was still a shark. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel sorry for it. Which I do. And if I was in the water and a paraplegic, I would be scared of it, I guess. I would fear it the way I would fear Michael J Fox doing my heart surgery. Helicoprion could not compete with modern day sharks because modern day sharks'(i.e. great white sharks’) dad could beat up Helicoprion’s dad. In fact Helicoprion never had a dad. Its rumored that everyone in the ocean fucked Helicoprion’s mom and they have to use Ocean food stamps just to get by. Extinction was sweet release for this half assed attempt at a shark.
Uintatherium
Like most nerdy animals, Uintatherium had terrible acne. It was so bad that the acne became fused to it’s skeleton and caused it to never get
laid, thus causing its extinction.
Uintatherium was a large browsing animal, about the size of a rhinoceros. Its most unusual feature was the skull, large and strongly built and, at the same time, flat and concave skull: this feature is not found in any other mammal. The skulls of the males bore six prominent knob-like ossicones(dick-horns) which grew from the frontal region of the skull. The function of these structures is unknown.
It is postulated that the ossicones were used to determine which Uintatherium would die the most alone . The Uinthatherium with the larger ossicone was clearly the lamest and would be mocked until it was forced to jackoff by itself in the basement of it’s grandmother’s house while she had a fucking kick ass party….by Uintatherium standards of course. Its amazing God let these fucktards live at all.
